You know the old phrase, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"? Well I guess that has been the theme of my blog here lately. I've been going through a rough time lately and I really don't like to complain all the time, so I've just said nothing. Pretty much the only place I've felt good lately is at work. I really love my job, difficult as it can be, and it has been a respite from what's been going on in my home life.
I know that raising teenagers is a challenge for everyone, and I know that this time will pass. I also know I'll miss my kids terribly when they are no longer in my home, but wow I'm tired of this time right now. I hate that I feel like that.
Things have also been a strain in my marriage. My husband HATES his job and has not been very pleasant to be around for quite some time. Plus, last Tuesday was our 25th anniversary and he did absolutely nothing special to note the occasion. We went out to dinner, but just to a place that is very ordinary for us. And it's not like he didn't know it was important to me that we do something...anything...
I let my husband know I was terribly upset (twice over the course of a few days) about the fact that he doesn't seem to have a romantic bone in his body and that it makes me feel like I'm taken for granted. It honestly makes me wonder how much he really cares about me. He sent me flowers yesterday (6 days after our anniversary), so that's something I guess....
My house is also a complete disaster. I have never been able to get into a routine since I went back to work last year. Since I was a stay-at-home mom for so many years, my kids got used to me doing most things for them. Now that I'm working full time I am SO tired when I get home and can't seem to find the energy to do anything but sit, especially if I go to the effort to actually cook something for dinner.
All of this makes me feel like such a whiner and I am I guess, but it's how I feel. Yes, I do know that there are others out there who have so much more to deal with...I know it could be so much worse. I just want to get back to a place where things don't feel so difficult.
I started this post yesterday and I guess I just needed to get a new perspective. Last night I had a good, long conversation with my mom (that is a blessing in and of itself). We're both going through a couple of things that are similar and I started out talking about how bad things were back in 2002-2004 for me. When I looked back at how difficult things were then (severe depression), I began to see that this time in my life isn't nearly as bad.
I began to realize just how blessed I am, even in the midst of a new difficult time. I don't have the anxiety I had, nor the frequency of panic attacks (now they are very few and far between). I trust God that He does have a purpose for my troubled times even though I stray from his plan for me sometimes. I know that my life is far better now that I do have His peace.
Now I just need to learn to be a little more patient when times are tough and wait for the new mountaintops that will come. Trusting in Him better today...God bless you all!
It's been a year!
4 years ago
10 comments:
Things can seem so overwhelming sometimes. God knows how you feel. He's working things out even while it looks like he isn't.
i have nothing profound to say, just want you to know that i was here today!!
love ya,
sheryl
I'm glad to see you back here, but sorry that you are having a rough patch. I hope that putting it into words helps. I think it's safe to say that most people have felt the way you feel at one time or another. Life can get us down, but God is there to lift us up.
Praying for you my friend.
Blessings
i understand! thanks for being real..., hope this next week is better... love, jess
I'm praying for you. Those teenage years. Hoo boy!
Father, please hold Suzanne right now through these difficult times. Show her the ways you are there for her. Please make it plain to her. Please love on her, God. Thank you.
I am praying for you!
I won't say I understand cause I am not a mother but just know I am praying on your behalf for the Father to minister to you as only he can.
In Him,
Laura
Sometimes, life gets a little like the 'crush' of the Holiday season...where it feels like Christmas is just upon you before you were quite ready for it. At times like those, anniversaries and other things do get forgotten in the midst of just trying to tread water.
Any chance you and your hubby could escape for a one night hotel stay (or even better an entire weekend) somewhere? That always seems to help us to reconnect, regroup and refocus when our life gets crazy. Instead of treading water trying to keep afloat, at least at times like that we're together in the life raft, you know? It helps us to get back and stay on the same page.
BTW, Family Life Today ministries (can be found online...FLT.org, I think) with Dennis & Barbara Rainey has some wonderful devotional e-mails that you can subscribe to on their website that are super encouraging for busy married folks and parents.
*sigh* I am so sorry it's being all rough and stuff. wanted you to know i was thinking of you today!
Well, dear one, I've been on bloggy vacation and am just now getting caught up. I'm so sorry I didn't know how you're feeling earlier, but I suppose it is God's timing that I am just reading today so that I can pray TODAY for whatever is going on now.
Jesus promised we'd have struggles in this life, but He also promised we wouldn't go through them alone. He never leaves; He's always with you. And from the looks of it, so are many believers who are praying for you. Satan wants us to feel defeated and beaten down. When we are, we're no threat to him. He's been busy at my house, too, and I just had a very short and not-so-sweet chat with him and reminded him of his future. He's doomed! I'm not!! Do what I did and tell him to get lost. He has no power over you or your home, and he needs to be reminded of that!
In the meantime, remember that God is just crazy about you and has something(s) for you to glean even through these rough days. He loves you and so do I!
Hangest thou in there! It WILL get better.
I'm sorry to hear of your sadness, but I'm glad you shared it with us. We do care, and I'll be praying. Love Becky's idea of sneaking away to a hotel or an inn. This isn't advice, just something I heard from Anne Graham Lotz at a conference one year: She spoke of how she had been on her knees one day because she was completely out of love with her husband. God told her to love Him first. And keep loving Him, and keep loving Him. Focusing only on Him--that He would work out the details. I thought that was so transparent of her and giving of her to share. ((((hugs))))
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