Hurt

Why is it that I let certain things bring me down so fast? I can be feeling great in one moment, but then something relatively minor happens and I feel so depressed...especially when it comes to my mother.

I called my mother this evening, half out of obligation since it's been a while. I only got to talk to her for a couple of minutes before K called. K really needed to talk to me about something, so I told mom I'd call her back in a few minutes. Fifteen minutes later I called mom back (and after the talk with K, I really needed to talk to my mom) and I got the question "Don't you watch American Idol?" I told her yes...she laughed this weird laugh she does sometimes (maybe because she knows it's not right what she's doing?) and we got off the phone. The thing I don't get is that she had to have noticed the frustration (and the big sigh) in my voice when I called back. So why isn't it important enough to her to find out why? Why is American Idol more important?

I was reading a book today by Max Lucado called The Great House of God. In it, he talks about our redemption and adoption as children of God, how much He cares for us. Like any adoptive parent, "God sought you, found you, signed the papers, and took you home". As I read the book, I smiled and my eyes teared up as I thought about how very thankful I am that I am God's child. And part of the reason that means so much to me is that I have struggled so much with things my earthly parents have done.

It hurts to be essentially told I'm not as important as a television show. It's one of those times when I cling to God. I cling to scripture. I cling to the words of Christian authors. I cling to music and lyrics of people who understand how painful this world can be. Then I am reminded that it won't always be this way.


There Will Be a Day
Jeremy Camp

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

(Chorus)
There will be a day with no more tears,
no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place,
will be no more, we'll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we'll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long
You feel you’re walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone

Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings

That there will be a place with no more suffering

(Chorus)

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always
will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
this is why this is why I sing

(Chorus)

Romans 8:18 (New International Version)

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.