Praise be to God!

Thank you so much for all your prayers on our behalf. We appreciate them more than you know. M began to improve pretty quickly over the last couple of days, after a wait that seemed like forever. The newest medication they have her on seems to be doing its job and she was allowed to go home today!!! She will need to be on steroids for a month or so, plus the other medications to make sure she doesn't relapse, but it looks like things are under control. Thank God!!

M will have to watch what she eats. So I plan on making her some of her favorite chicken and dumplings this weekend (fits perfectly into what she's allowed to eat). She's been wanting me to make them for a while anyway.

The rest of us here at home have been working on recovering from the flu. I'm mostly well, but this stuff has me really exhausted even after a week. So I'm trying to take it easy. Hopefuly everyone else will be well in the next couple of days too.

Weary

Isaiah 40:29 (New International Version)
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Lord, I need your strength and power now. I am so weary.

M is still in the hospital. It's been and up and down kind of thing. One day things will seem somewhat better and the next day we'll be back to the previous step. Hopefully, what the doctors are giving her now will be the thing that works. They are saying if something doesn't work soon, they may have to do surgery to remove part of her colon. Please please help me in praying that that doesn't have to happen.

To complicate matters, I haven't been able to see M since last Saturday because I have had the flu. I had to miss Monday and Tuesday from work, plus yesterday was an ice day (so at least I didn't have to use another sick day). When I called her yesterday, she seemed pretty down in the dumps. It stinks that I wasn't there to give her a hug when she said cried saying she just wants to go home.

I am at work today, but I'm so weak. I have to go see M today after work. I can't go another day without seeing her. The rest of my family is home sick with the flu now, so I guess I will try to take care of them this evening as best I can...

Help me Lord to be stronger.

Scary Stuff

2 Thessalonians 1:3-5 (New International Version)
3We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing. 4Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.

5All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.


It's been a little scary this past week, but it seems like M is finally starting to make the turn-around to feeling better. Yesterday the doctors decided that she needed to have a blood transfusion (that'll make you a little nervous, I tell ya). She had still just been losing too much blood. They also started her on clear liquids to see how she reacted to them. She has done ok since then, so she's continued having things like broth and jello today. I talked to her this morning and she seems to have more energy.

A couple of days ago I reminded M that we never know why we're going through the things we do or how God may use them to witness to others. She seemed to know that already. She is such a beautiful witness in how she lives her life. I am so thankful to have her as my daughter.

M...

M has been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and started on medication for it last Thursday. By Sunday evening, she was feeling even worse than she had. She had not been able to keep anything in her system and was struggling to keep dehydrated. Finally, Sunday night she decided to go to the E.R. It seems that the medication they initially put her on isn't doing her any good (and may have actually made her somewhat worse), so she is now in the hospital.

The doctors tell us that this is something that can definitely be managed, but that it is going to take some time to get it under control. The estimate they have given us at this point is that she will be in the hospital for 5 to 7 days. Problem is, after nearly two days she is still not responding to what they're doing for her.

*Sigh*...I just want my baby to feel better...and soon.

Being a mom is not for the faint of heart...

Psalm 63:1-3 (New International Version)
1 O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 2 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. 3 Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

This has been one of the most difficult weeks I can remember. Not only have things been difficult at work as it is testing week, but my oldest daughter who teaches where I work has been very sick. She's been having problems with her digestive system for quite a while. Now she is anemic and dehydrated and feels terrible. She has had to miss three days of work, and we're talking about someone who never takes a day off no matter how sick she's been in the past.

M finally had a procedure done to determine the problem on Wednesday and should know very soon exactly what the problem is, and she has been started on meds to help her get better. Still, after a week of medication, she's still not feeling better yet. Plus, I think she told me that she's lost seventeen pounds in the last month or so.

I think the very most difficult part of having children is when you have a sick child and you can't do anything to make them better except to give your support. I really do know that God is in control, and it seems that things will be ok (eventually), but right now it's just really tough to do this. I have been working so hard to just keep my focus on God, and it has been working. I know that I would be in a MUCH worse place without Him. So I sing my praises and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Please join me in praying for my daughter.

Praising Him in the valley, but hoping for a mountaintop soon!

UPDATING Saturday to say that I called M today and she seems to finally be feeling somewhat better. Thank you all so much for your prayers!

Brighter Days

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.



Thank you so much for the kind words and prayers after my last post. I can truly feel your prayers working. Thank you Jenn, for reminding me that we don't always see how we are affecting someone in the present for their future lives. I love having blog friends who care enough to lift me up when I am down. I hope I do the same for you.




I've been having a hard time keeping my focus on God lately. I'm not totally sure why that is. It feels as though I'm trying to see Him through a fog and I'm not sure what's holding me back. I know that He is there, thankfully. I remember a time when I didn't...it makes me shudder to think of that time in my life. I am beginning to get my focus back though. I woke up with a praise song in my head both yesterday and today. Hallelujah! That is actually one of the ways I can tell that I'm doing better.




Routine probably has something to do with why I've been struggling. When I'm off work, I have a tendency to stay up late and sleep late. Instead of planning things to do, I find myself getting bored. I also miss the routine of work, in general (and I miss the kids!). So I was happy to be back at work yesterday.




Another thing that seems to get me sidetracked is the absence of praise and worship music during the Christmas season. Music is the primary way that I hear the Lord speaking to me. And for some reason, Christmas music doesn't always do the same thing for me, even though it is a type of praise music. I miss terribly the music that speaks of our heartache and how God heals that heartache. I love Christmas music, but I'm so glad the radio is back to playing the music that speaks most to my heart. So I guess the Christmas season had me down the way it gets a lot of people down.



Now I'm looking forward to a new year. I kind of used my illness over the holiday to jump start me into eating better. I couldn't eat for a few days really, and once I was well my appetite wasn't as large. Since then I have been more motivated than I have been in a very long time to take better care of my body. That is a blessing in an of itself!



So things are definitely better and I'm very thankful. His grace is sufficient!

Writer's Block

I guess that's why I haven't posted in a while. I just haven't felt very inspired lately. I'm also tired of the way my life is right now. Tired of raising teenagers (and feeling like such a failure at times). Tired of not having the kind of relationship I want with my husband. Tired of not having the kind of relationship I want with The Lord...

The Christmas holiday went ok, except for the nasty stomach virus(that lasted about 4 days) that K, T, and I all got. I guess D tried to make up for the fact that he didn't acknowledge our 25th anniversary by getting me some nice things for Christmas (an ipod and an under-the-counter cd/radio for my kitchen that I've been putting on my list for 10 years). My kids got basically what they wanted for Christmas too.

I didn't feel like anyone in our family kept in mind what Christmas is really about. I hear about, and read about, those who do wonderful things for others and those whose children know they don't need another thing...that's not my family. My husband never talks about Christ to the kids (unless he feels prodded to do so) and I guess I fell down on the job in not continuing to do it myself this year.

I want (so badly that my heart aches) for my family to know God the way I do. I try really hard not to push it at them though. I know you can't force it. I try so hard to "let my light shine", but end up so often feeling like they're all just thinking "oh, that's just mom...".

My kids are making decisions and forming opinions that I don't think they would if they had the influence that comes from both parents teaching them to live godly lives. I see it especially in my son. Sons are obviously going to try to emulate their fathers. I want my son (and my daughters) to emulate their heavenly Father. I don't like the way my husband is teaching them. It breaks my heart.

I'm also so very frustrated in my marriage in other ways. I'm trying to hard to be the wife God wants me to be. I'm trying to keep letting God change me, not just asking God to change my husband. It's just so hard to keep going sometimes.

Praying that God will renew my strength and refresh my spirit...