I guess that's why I haven't posted in a while. I just haven't felt very inspired lately. I'm also tired of the way my life is right now. Tired of raising teenagers (and feeling like such a failure at times). Tired of not having the kind of relationship I want with my husband. Tired of not having the kind of relationship I want with The Lord...
The Christmas holiday went ok, except for the nasty stomach virus(that lasted about 4 days) that K, T, and I all got. I guess D tried to make up for the fact that he didn't acknowledge our 25th anniversary by getting me some nice things for Christmas (an ipod and an under-the-counter cd/radio for my kitchen that I've been putting on my list for 10 years). My kids got basically what they wanted for Christmas too.
I didn't feel like anyone in our family kept in mind what Christmas is really about. I hear about, and read about, those who do wonderful things for others and those whose children know they don't need another thing...that's not my family. My husband never talks about Christ to the kids (unless he feels prodded to do so) and I guess I fell down on the job in not continuing to do it myself this year.
I want (so badly that my heart aches) for my family to know God the way I do. I try really hard not to push it at them though. I know you can't force it. I try so hard to "let my light shine", but end up so often feeling like they're all just thinking "oh, that's just mom...".
My kids are making decisions and forming opinions that I don't think they would if they had the influence that comes from both parents teaching them to live godly lives. I see it especially in my son. Sons are obviously going to try to emulate their fathers. I want my son (and my daughters) to emulate their heavenly Father. I don't like the way my husband is teaching them. It breaks my heart.
I'm also so very frustrated in my marriage in other ways. I'm trying to hard to be the wife God wants me to be. I'm trying to keep letting God change me, not just asking God to change my husband. It's just so hard to keep going sometimes.
Praying that God will renew my strength and refresh my spirit...
It's been a year!
4 years ago
4 comments:
Lord, I lift my sister Suzanne up to you and thank Youy for her. I thank You for your work in her heart, and her desire to bring forth Your teaching and Your presence in her home. Marriage is so hard, Lord. We need Your holy strength and intercession to make them work. I pray a blessing over Suzanne's husband, Lord. Bind the enemy from him in every way. Encourage him and draw him near to you and near to her, Father, I pray. Place a hedge of protection around her children, and herself, Lord. Give her Your peace, comfort, longsuffering, and patience. I thank You that I can boldly come to the throne with these requests. Holy Spirit fill my friend, and keep her I pray. Give her joy in each day. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Wow Gretchen, what a beautiful prayer. Thank you so much.
Father,
Please allow Suzanne's eyes to be on Jesus as Peter's eyes were on him when he was walking on the water, before he sank. It's only when our eyes are on you that we aren't sinking.
Draw Suzanne and her family to you in a beautiful way that gives them peace and hope. You are the God of hope and joy and victory!
Thank you in advance, dear Father. Amen.
Being sick at Christmas = BAH HUMBUG! We're FINALLY getting over it at our house. Hope you're feeling much better.
When I read your post, it took me back to a day when I was as your kids are... forming opinions, but not necessarily the best one. My mom was faithful to the Lord no matter WHAT I did. She prayed Proverbs 22:6 over me daily. "Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it." Do that for your kids, too. God's Word NEVER comes back to Him void. Isaiah 55:11 promises that! Claim it!
I distinctly remember the day I was moving out of the house and into my first apartment. I couldn't WAIT to get away from the parental control. Some friends came to help me move my things, so I treated them to dinner afterwards. While we were at the table, one of my closest friends said, "You know, it was SO cool to walk through the kitchen at your parents' house and see your mom working on her Bible study. I never saw that growing up. You are blessed."
I had never noticed. My mother was quietly and gently living her faith out in front of my very eyes without "pushing it on me."
Live out loud in front of them, S. With quiet and gentle grace. They will notice!
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