Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I made myself get out of bed at 11:00am today. Many of may be wondering how someone could possibly sleep that late. Well since you asked, I am e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d. For 16 years I was a stay-at-home mom and I volunteered a lot, so I definitely stayed busy. If I needed a little more rest, I just took naps during the day. Of course, there are no naps when you have a full time job (who would like to lobby to change that?). This working AND volunteering thing is T.O.U.G.H. But I realized something last night. As hard as this is, I really think it's what I'm supposed to be doing.
This week we had two different band events, which meant that the band crew had two late working nights (dinner provided by Taco Bell...again). I dreaded both of them, partially because I have been fighting terrible allergies for weeks(never have I had so much trouble with them this time of year!). Three days this week I very nearly called in sick. I have just been having the most difficult time getting through the work day. So adding on another "job" in the evening was just not what I wanted to do.
I realize that this probably sounds like a gripe session, but that's not what I'm intending. Arduous as the task has been, I have had a lot of fun. I love the friendships I have with the other parent volunteers and if you know me at all, you know how much I love working with the kids. There is something so satisfying (and healing) to me about being the "extra mama" for kiddos whose parents aren't around.
Last night I actually got my second wind and had a great time. It's a tradition that when we play our big rivals from across town we carry around braided yarn in the colors of the other team, the Tigers and the kids sing "I've got a tiger by the tail". We couldn't find any of our "tiger tails" from previous years, so I stopped by my mom's (we've been getting along pretty well lately) on the way to the game and borrowed some yarn to make them. Then I sat in the car before the game and quickly made some for K, T and K's two best friends. What really made my heart smile was knowing that one of K's friends was so happy to get one. Next year hopefully I will think ahead and make sure to have some "tiger tails" already done.
I'm beginning to think it's likely that even after my kids have all graduated, I might just keep volunteering with the band. After all, the kiddos I work with in the middle school will be moving on to high school and I'm sure I'll want to keep seeing them. I'll need something to keep me busy anyway, so Mama C might just have to do that.
In the past, many people have quoted Jeremiah 29:11 to me. There were so many years, the majority of my life in fact, that I worried every day about the "what ifs". All I could think about was what horrible thing was coming next in my life. And I had good reason to wonder. I had been through so much already. I also had an extremely hard time dealing with the hurts of others. If I would see someone in emotional pain, especially a child, it would just devastate me. Once I was finally able to let myself trust in the Lord's plan for my life (and for the lives of others), everything changed.
I can see now that God's plan for me is to work with kids. And it would not have been possible for me to do the things I'm doing now were I not trusting in Him. Sometimes it breaks my heart to know that the children I encounter need their "extra mama" so much. That's the kind of thing that I truly could not handle when I didn't put my complete trust in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The things I can handle now would've seriously caused me to have a breakdown then.
I'm sorry I didn't trust in the Lord sooner. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time, but I can't dwell on that. I know that the Lord is using me now. I know that He is still molding me to be the person He wants me to be. I pray that I will allow Him to use me to the fullest and I long to hear the words "well done, good and faithful servant". Help me Lord to follow Your plan.
It's been a year!
4 years ago
6 comments:
Beautiful thoughts. Thank you.
Where to start?! Where to start?!
I've been a "what-iffer" my whole life. The Lord gave me my "life verse" of Jeremiah 29:11 at the very lowest point in my life, a time when I was suicidal and couldn't "find" God. I love that my plans are NOT His plans, and that HIS plans ALWAYS include good and hope. I'm glad you find that verse special, too. Just another reason we're kindred spirits. :)
So many kids we minister to in prison would not be there if someone - anyone - had paid attention to them, poured his/her life into them, or been an "extra mama" to them. What you do, not only for your own kids, but others around them, is so, so, SO important and makes an eternal difference. Bless you for that.
It's neat to see that while you are being obedient to His call and plan, He's also blessing in other ways. How awesome that you and your mom are getting along well!
Lastly... (I wrote a book here!!) I also discovered that same level of exhaustion you described. (Have we talked about this already?) Much to my surpise, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. If you haven't already had the bloodwork for your thyroid done, do it! We're still working on getting my medication dosage just right, but I never could have imagined how much better I'd feel and how much more energy I'd have once that was more under control. My doc also had me add a daily vitamin B complex tablet (not just B12, but the complex), and that has helped tremendously as well.
Keep on keepin' on, sistah!
Oh my goodness Jenn, we really do have so many things in common. I do have hypothyroidism. I was diagnosed in 2003. I remember how much better I felt when I finally got my meds straightened out.
I'm not quite as exhausted as I was before I started taking the meds (and I also take B-complex every day), but I am wondering if I need to have my bloodwork done again.
This is wonderful! I'm so grateful for the kids that need that 2nd mom, and I'm grateful that you get to be that mom. I always find that no matter how much I'm giving, I can't outgive Him. Even when I'm supposed to be serving Him, worshiping Him, loving Him--He finds a way to out-love me. Awesome God.
Nonetheless, I'll say a prayer for your strength and endurance. :)
Suzanne - Great post. If you would have trusted God sooner, you wouldn't be who you are and have the testimony you do. What a great thing you are doing by giving back to the kids. As one who cannot get out there much and do with my own kids I'm grateful for people like you are.
-Sheryl
Ahhh, friend...that is what the Lord just LOVES about you...your love for others, your heart, your willingness...I have no doubt you WILL hear those words "Well done though good and faithful servant" one day. I can think of a few very special 'extra moms' in my life...helping me through the tough spots when my own mom wasn't available. These people are blessed to have you as part of their lives.
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