Trust

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

This week I was reminded again that were it not for the relationship I have now with The Lord, there is no possible way I could work where I do. Without Him, my anxiety would just not let me do it.

A few days ago, we were told that they were going to change our "Emergency Lockdown" procedures which would entail changing the way they announce a lockdown. For instance, instead of saying "Teachers, we are having an emergency lockdown", they might say something like "We are having an emergency lockdown because we have an intruder with a gun in the 7th grade hallway." Can you say stressful?!?

Also changing is the fact that more scenarios are being considered. Before, our lockdown drills happened only during regular class time. Problem is that you can't determine that something bad will only happen during those times. You must also consider that it might happen at lunch time or before school when the lunchroom is filled with hundreds of students. This would make it a lot harder to manage the way the kids react.

The reason they are changing procedures is because of the fact that school shootings are on the rise. From what they told us, there were 5 this year within the first two months of school. That's more than the total of any year since 2000.

We were told that we would be having a lockdown drill within two weeks, we wouldn't know exactly when, and we weren't supposed too let the kids know it was going to happen. The fact that I work with some kids who might be more prone to freak out is a big concern for me. Plus, since I'm all over the school, I never know where I might be when a drill like that happens. And it brings to mind that if there were something real happening, I'm much more likely to be stuck in a hallway, etc.

Thankfully, the drill happened on Friday. I was where I wanted to be, not stuck in a hallway, but with a teacher who has excellent classroom management skills. No one freaked out and it went just fine. Whew...

When things like this are going on I really have to ask myself, do I truly trust your Lord? Will I trust You no matter what? This is when I cannot lean on my own understanding. Otherwise, I can't keep doing what I know my Lord wants me to do and keep being where I know He wants me to be.

By the way, in case anyone was wondering. I didn't have to take anything to help keep me calm either, just regular doses of prayer and the peace that only The Lord can give.