I just can't seem to figure it out. I used to have all these deep thoughts in my head (well, deep for me anyway...). I used to feel inspired to come here and write about what I was thinking. It seems like so long since I have felt that way.
Lately I just go through my day. Go to work. Come home and fix dinner. Watch t.v. Go to bed. Repeat.
I try to get myself to read scripture and I do read a little bit most days, but it feels forced. I'm doing it because I know I should. I don't get the WOW feeling I used to get.
Maybe part of it is that it has been so long since I felt really well. I had a stomach virus at the beginning of January and I don't think my body fully recovered by the time I came down with the flu at the end of January. I was off work for a whole week (all the time unable to go see M in the hospital), but I'm still coughing and my voice is gone. I can't remember the last time I didn't feel physically exhausted. I guess the exhaustion transfers to my mind as well.
Today I've been listening to worship songs on my ipod all day. Wishing I could really sing along with them. Trying to feel connected. Trying not to do too much work, even though my house is a wreck.
Even so, I am thankful that:
1. M is feeling much better.
2. The rest of my family is healthy.
3. Our financial situation is getting better.
4. D and I get to go hang out with our friends at bunco tonight.
5. My Ruby dog is cuddled up next to me in my recliner right now.
6. I have a job I love.
7. I have friends at work I love to talk to.
8. I have a home and a car and so much more than a great percentage of the world.
9. I have a nice computer.
10. I have an ipod with 330 songs on it (almost all praise and worship!)
Praising Him...
Suzanne :)
Anyone there?
6 years ago
5 comments:
I read something a couple of weeks ago and it totally helped me when i was in the same situation... it essentially said, if you're not feeling thirsty- the best thing you can do is work up a thirst by working out your faith. Find something that will stretch your faith and you'll be back, drinking in the Living Water in no time.
worked for me :)
Those are all definitely things to be thankful for!
I find that praising the Lord is a great way to wade back in to that closeness with Him...especially after I've gotten a little drug out and weary from illness and rising in the night to check on sick kids, and added laundry and all that fun stuff.
So thankful that you all are on the mend.
I think every believer goes through periods of "drought." Mine do seem to come in the winter time when everything is cold and gray and lifeless. A little depression creeps in when my brain doesn't get the vitamins it needs from the sunshine. BUT... God made us. He knows us. He understands us. AND He's patient with us, waiting for the spring to come and our fellowship to return to its fullness.
Keep on praising Him. The Word tells us He inhabits the praise of His people.
Love you!!
Sweet friend,
Sometimes we have to be in the desert and just "be". It sure makes us appreciate him all the more when we find the wellspring again. Praying for you to find true refreshment.
Susan
I don't think you have a problem, per se. Life is just hard. And deserts happen. I'm sorry for yours. Very. But pointing any of this angst inwards isn't going to help you. I love that you listed your gratefuls--that often helps me--and I love that you love God. He will bring you thru. Meanwhile...many hugs from Seattle. Been there, babe. Not fun.
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