Well yesterday's time with mom was just ok. She talked a lot about things her husband says to her that made me want to scream WHY do you put up with this?!? But I didn't...I just sat quietly and listened because I know that my saying things would probably just make her mad. Here is a short list of the things that make me so angry:
1. He has zero income, yet she drives the old car with no air conditioning to work every day(and it's nearly 100 degrees with high humidity every day here right now), while he keeps the nice SUV home with him for his short trips to the grocery store.
2. He has zero income, yet he yells at her about the amount of money she spends.
3. He yells at her about random things and generally treats her very disrespectfully.
4. He has zero income because he refuses to get a job.
5. Even though he's home all day every day, their yard looks absolutely horrible and obviously hasn't been touched in months.
Can you tell that the zero income thing is a problem for me? Plus she has the nerve to compare what he does with the job of a stay-at-home mom! At this point I'm thinking of a speech along the lines of "I knew John Kennedy, and you're no John Kennedy!", I've been a stay-at-home mom with small kids and you're no stay-at-home mom! She told me he has been feeling lonely and she should spend more time with him. She says that she can understand how he feels because she remembers being stuck at home with toddlers and then dad going out with his buddies in the evening. She does nothing but go to work and come home and spend time with him and he's lonely...
It's just really so hard for me to be around that situation at all. I feel totally unwelcome in her home and I left yesterday with the feeling of relief that I probably won't have to "do that again" for a while...
Don't say I didn't warn you. I told you this would be a rant, but since you've been so kind as to read this far I will try to post something more light hearted later on today. I've been wanting to post pictures of my doggies, but my husband has had the camera with him on a trip. Now that he's back, I plan to take some pics today.
Hope you all have a great day. With God's amazing grace, I hope to have a good one as well.
It's been a year!
4 years ago
6 comments:
Oh, dear one! I can see your frustration and pain in your words. I'm so sorry your mom is in this situation. It is so hard to watch people continue on in toxic relationships, and I know that toxicity can spill over into other facets of life as well. You are right to want a relationship with your mom, and even though it is difficult, I believe God will honor your heart's desire to try to build a better bond with her.
I continue to pray for both of you and your extended family. God can heal the hurts, and I'm asking Him to do so!
THanks for visiting my blog.
I can relate a bit to your struggles. My mother was an alcoholic, and though there was much more to her than that, at times that seemed to eclipse all other goodness in her. She died about 9 years ago, and though I miss her terribly at times, I don't miss all the garbage that turns a want to visit into a have to visit.
May God strengthen you both and give you abundant grace.
Lily,
I was thinking about your situation. My heart goes out to broken families. My whole family has suffered from one broken marriage after another. This is just a thought and not meant as a judgement. Sounds like your Step Dad could use a friend. Maybe the way to a better relationship with Mom is to start with your Step Dad. One act of kindness can change a life. You are in my prayers.
Believe me Joan, I have tried to do that over the years and I have prayed for him too (though I must admit I was not in a praying mood when I put up this post..and I know that was wrong). There is a lot more to this story than what I have shared. I will however, try to change my focus and begin praying for him again.
Praying is always good! :-)
Have a great day!
Oh Sweetie, I feel your pain!!! My youngest daughter was involved with a young man in a simular situation... Praise God, she finally saw the light!!!
But your mom is a different story... I have a sister-in-law in the same boat... can't tell you why they stay!!!
I am praying for you and your mom!!!
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