Sixteen Days!!!

Christmas break has begun (I wish the school system still called it that...). I will have 16 days off work. Yes, I still love my job, but there are so many reasons I'm glad to have a few days for things I want/need to do.



1. Christmas shopping! It's a good thing that there are 5 days till Christmas because I have almost nothing done in the gift department. I'm not stressing though..whatever gets done, gets done.



2. Sleeping. I can't wait to have a few days of sleeping late. Actually, I will probably sleep late most of those days, but not today. That's ok, because I got to do item #3.



3. Learn to make tamales!! Love me some tamales! I love to cook and I have always wanted to know how to make them. I was invited to go learn how to make them with my oldest daughter's boyfriend's family. It was my first time to meet E's family and they seem like wonderful people. Plus, they've invited me to come back to help make tamales next year too!



4. Put up the Christmas tree. We finally bought one Thursday night (first chance we had to go look!) and put it up on Friday. We had hot chocolate, crackers, cheese, and summer sausage while we listened to Christmas music (our tradition). Sadly, my teenagers are too old now to think that's cool...so I guess I will have to put on the ornaments myself.



5. Get some serious cleaning done (beginning of the holiday), since my dad and step-mom will be stopping at our house on the way to see some other relatives in a different part of the state.



6. Get some more cleaning done (toward the end of the holiday..house will need it again by then), since we're having bunco at our house on January 8th. Hopefully, I can get something done about the flooring in the livingroom before that. We'll have to see if we have the time or money for that.



7. Bake cookies, maybe cut out sugar cookies with icing. Yummm.


8. Wear jeans. Every.single.day. Yes, even to church (totally fine at our church).


What are you doing?

Brother, can you spare a tree?

Ahh, the great debate...real or artificial Christmas tree??? We've always had an artificial tree. My parents always had the artificial ones and so did D's parents, plus I don't think a real tree would go well with my allergies. So that's just the way it is in our household.

Last night I finally started to pull out our Christmas decorations. I took down the pictures on the mantle, and placed our beautiful new nativity scene (actually it is a one piece statue of Jesus, Mary and Joseph that I got at our bunco gift exchange, love it!) in the center with some other items. Then I went through the big boxes of ornaments and got rid of the ones I never really liked in the first place. I made sure there was a place ready for the tree and my husband asked T if he would go get it for us.

A minute later, T drug in the box and opened it up. No tree. Empty box. Then we remembered. Last year, the tree we'd had for many years was such a hassle to put up and take down that we decided to just throw it out on the curb with the trash. It apparently never crossed our minds to pull the box out of storage and throw it away too. Our plan was to buy a new tree right after Christmas when they are on sale. I'm not sure why we didn't do that.

So, should you happen to throw out your old artificial Christmas tree...and should you happen to decide not to buy a new one right after Christmas, make sure to find a way to remind yourself that you have no tree for next year. I guess I know what I'll be shopping for tonight.

Today

What I did this morning:

Drank coffee while reading blogs of some of the most amazing women in the world. God speaks to me in an incredible way through these and the others listed to the right:

Lila's Journey

Casa de Castro

The Perch

Mourning Into Dancing

What I'm doing next:

Searching for college classes since I think I might like to be a "full fledged teacher" some day. I've got a long way to go and I'm not getting any younger, so I'd better get started.

What I'm doing after that:

Getting dressed and driving up to the community college. Editing to say that I'm glad I checked the hours for the college before driving all the way up there. They are evidently already on a holiday schedule and closed on Saturdays. Oh well, that'll give me more time for what's on the list for later.

What I'm doing later:

Getting my house in order
Finding a way to get my kids to help around the house
Shopping online for Christmas presents (hope there's still time for delivery!)
Teaching my husband how to give me a shoulder massage

What are you doing today?

Just had to pop in and say..

Things are getting better around here. I've put my focus a little more on God and how he's blessed me, and a little less on what my problems are. I thank you all for your prayers and kind words. They mean so very much to me.

It also doesn't hurt that D starts a new job on Monday!!! At the old job, he was hired to do one job and ended up being put into something entirely different. I'm really hopeful that he'll be in a better mood now that his situation is changing. The new job should be a MUCH better fit for him. He will be working with a good friend of his and so he already knows a little bit about how the company works.

The only bad thing is that D was unable to give two weeks notice for various reasons. He's never had to leave a job abruptly like this, so this is very awkward for him. He also has a feeling of failure regarding this job, even though he logically knows that it wasn't his fault. Please take time to say a prayer for him.

Feeling blessed...

There, that's better...

I just had to have another blog background. The other one was nice, just not for me...and since Gretchen had to steal the one I really wanted, this'll do. :)

Pure Joy?

I have never read the book called "The Road Less Traveled", but from what I hear, it is a great book. I started to read it once, and I remember that it begins with a profound statement, "Life is difficult". Sometimes I think we get it into our heads that life should be easier. Why do we think that way?

We definitely aren't promised in The Bible that our lives will be easy. In fact, we are told that our lives here on earth may be quite precarious. However, we are told that we should "consider it pure joy" when we face trials, that it develops perseverance (James 1:2-3). What's up with that? Pure joy???


How many of us consider it pure joy to go through tough times? I know I don't. I have a tendency to whine and complain. Sometimes I can let one little thing knock the wind out of my sails. If I don't do a self check and remind myself of what truly matters, I can find myself dwelling on all that's wrong in my life. I sometimes forget how truly blessed I am.



Maybe I should take a cue from my friend Gretchen who does Glatitude Mondays (love those so much Gretchen!!). I need to be focusing on what's right in my life, not what's wrong. So here goes:

1. I have had enough money to pay my bills for some time now. Praise God, I'm blessed to know how great that is since I've experienced times when I struggled so hard to pay them.

2. I don't have to worry about being too hot or too cold in my home as I have A/C and heating that works fine. I experienced times in my life when I didn't have those.

3. My children have never had trouble passing the TAKS Test in school, which can determine whether a child moves on to the next grade. I have seen so many anxious kids work and work to pass it and still fail.

4. I have friends who care about me and encourage me.

5. I have relatively good health.

6. I have a husband who loves me.

7. I have 3 great kids, including an amazing adult daughter who is also a friend.

8. I love my job!

9. I go to a wonderful church.

10. I have a God who loved me enough to send His Son to die for my sins.

Counting my blessings...

If you don't have something nice to say...

You know the old phrase, "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"? Well I guess that has been the theme of my blog here lately. I've been going through a rough time lately and I really don't like to complain all the time, so I've just said nothing. Pretty much the only place I've felt good lately is at work. I really love my job, difficult as it can be, and it has been a respite from what's been going on in my home life.



I know that raising teenagers is a challenge for everyone, and I know that this time will pass. I also know I'll miss my kids terribly when they are no longer in my home, but wow I'm tired of this time right now. I hate that I feel like that.



Things have also been a strain in my marriage. My husband HATES his job and has not been very pleasant to be around for quite some time. Plus, last Tuesday was our 25th anniversary and he did absolutely nothing special to note the occasion. We went out to dinner, but just to a place that is very ordinary for us. And it's not like he didn't know it was important to me that we do something...anything...



I let my husband know I was terribly upset (twice over the course of a few days) about the fact that he doesn't seem to have a romantic bone in his body and that it makes me feel like I'm taken for granted. It honestly makes me wonder how much he really cares about me. He sent me flowers yesterday (6 days after our anniversary), so that's something I guess....



My house is also a complete disaster. I have never been able to get into a routine since I went back to work last year. Since I was a stay-at-home mom for so many years, my kids got used to me doing most things for them. Now that I'm working full time I am SO tired when I get home and can't seem to find the energy to do anything but sit, especially if I go to the effort to actually cook something for dinner.



All of this makes me feel like such a whiner and I am I guess, but it's how I feel. Yes, I do know that there are others out there who have so much more to deal with...I know it could be so much worse. I just want to get back to a place where things don't feel so difficult.

I started this post yesterday and I guess I just needed to get a new perspective. Last night I had a good, long conversation with my mom (that is a blessing in and of itself). We're both going through a couple of things that are similar and I started out talking about how bad things were back in 2002-2004 for me. When I looked back at how difficult things were then (severe depression), I began to see that this time in my life isn't nearly as bad.

I began to realize just how blessed I am, even in the midst of a new difficult time. I don't have the anxiety I had, nor the frequency of panic attacks (now they are very few and far between). I trust God that He does have a purpose for my troubled times even though I stray from his plan for me sometimes. I know that my life is far better now that I do have His peace.

Now I just need to learn to be a little more patient when times are tough and wait for the new mountaintops that will come. Trusting in Him better today...God bless you all!

The Oklahoma Trip

Things didn't start out as good as I planned. I felt the first scratchiness in my throat Thursday night and by Friday afternoon, my voice was gone and my sinuses were terribly congested. So while I had intended on talking more than listening, it was a listening kind of weekend for me. It was very frustrating for me, since I love to talk more than most anybody, but I still had fun.

When we first got to Seminole, we decided to go visit Pam's dad in the nursing home. My heart broke when I realized that I couldn't hug him since I was afraid I had a cold and certainly didn't want to pass it on to him. As sick as he is, I doubt I will have a chance to see him again, so I am glad we went. It was so hard to see him like that though.

Friday night Pam's brother Eddie made us the most amazing pizza with pepperoni, sausage and jalapenos! Yummm! We sat around and talked and laughed. I was able to get myself to go to bed much earlier than usual (most times we stay up till 2:00 or 3:00am and then get up at 7:00) since I wasn't feeling that well and really needed the sleep.

The next morning we drove 2 hours to Tulsa to do our "shopping"...there actually wasn't much shopping going on (as I had expected). At lunch time we decided on Mexican food (love it!), and I got to sit next to my favorite Oklahoma sister, Annie. Then we went to the mall for more shopping.

That evening we found out that sister Lisa's teenage son had an infection in his hand (back in Seminole) and needed to go to the E.R. As a result, it looked like we would have to go back to Seminole rather than stay at the hotel with the other girls. Thankfully, we got word a little while later that the doctors said that Lisa's son was going to be ok, so we decided it would be alright to stay in Tulsa for the night.

I was thrilled to get to spend more time with the group that had already spent the night before in Tulsa. While I didn't get to have much actual conversation with them, it was still fun to hang out and listen to their stories. We were laughing so loudly in the hotel room that I was afraid someone would complain, but thankfully no one did.

Sunday we headed back to Seminole, said goodbye to the ones that were there, and headed back to Dallas. We all made it back safely and I'm glad we were able to make our trip again. I look forward to next year and hope that then I will stay well enough to TALK.

4 More Days!!!

Only 4 more days till I leave for my girls' weekend! This will be year 18 for me. Every year my best friend Pam (and sometimes another friend) and I travel to Oklahoma for our yearly shopping trip. So I've asked for Friday off from work, as have Pam and another friend, Maria. And while everyone else is slaving away at work, we will be driving and talking and talking some more.



First we travel to tiny little Seminole, Oklahoma to see Pam's mom, dad and siblings. Pam is one of 18 children (yes, you read right, 18!). She has 10 sisters and 7 brothers. And I just can't even express how much I love all of them. They have "adopted" me into their family (what's one more, huh?) and have been such a blessing in my life. Pam's dad is so special to me that I even named my son after him (T's middle name). And her mom is one of the kindest and most gentle women I have ever known in my life. I have never met people quite like her family.



Friday night we have plans to hang out and play games with some of my favorite siblings. I'm sure we'll stay up way too late, but we always have SO much fun. I can hear Pam's brother Danny (who truly is more an uncle to my kids than my own brother) laughing even as I think about it. Her brother Eddie is supposed to make us his famous homemade pizza (yum!). Lisa will also be there and she always brings life to the party as well. Lisa might even bring along her kiddos who I dearly love.



Some of the girls (Pam's sisters and maybe a niece or two) are planning to stay in Tulsa at a hotel on Friday night while we are in Seminole. Saturday morning Pam, Maria, Lisa and I will load up and drive to Tulsa (about a 2 hour drive) for the shopping!!! Well of course the shopping isn't the part that is most fun. Seeing the rest of the girls is! I haven't heard who all is going to be there yet, but there are about 4 who never miss the trip. I can't wait to get my hugs from Annie, Mary, Patti and Kathleen!



Once in Tulsa, we will shop till we drop and we will no doubt shock some waitress at lunch with the size of our group. Most fun of all, once the shopping is done, we are planning to stay at the hotel with the other girls Saturday night for a slumber part of sorts. We have always wanted to do this, but it's never really worked out before and we've always driven the two hours back to Seminole after shopping. Even as tired as we always are, the drive has always been fun because of the wonderful conversation, but I'm really excited about the slumber party instead.

Can you tell I'm excited?!?

A meme should be easy to get done, right?

Since I haven't had much time to do a "real" post lately...a meme should be easy (actually editing to say that even this post took me a day and a half to get done...busy, busy, busy!)..., so ok Gretchen, I'll play too: one-word-answers please. Let me know if you're going to do it too. :)

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket


2. Your significant other? reliable


3. Your hair? twisted


4. Your mother? challenge


5. Your Father? forgiven


6.. Your favorite thing? helping


7.Your dream last night? none


8. Your favorite drink? Dr. Pepper


9. Your dream/goal? heaven


10. The room you're in? ISS


11. Your fear? incompletion


12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? closer


13. Where were you last night? game


14. What you're not? shy


15. Muffins? chocolate


16. One of your wish list items? ipod


17. Where you grew up? Texas


18. The last thing you did? teach


19. What are you wearing? jeans!!


20. Your TV? old


21. Your Pets? messy


22. Your Computer? essential


23.Your life? amazing


24. Your mood? satisfied


25. Missing someone? Grandpa


26. Your car? blue


27. Something you're not wearing? earrings (and I have to say I hate that I forgot them today!!!)


28. Favorite Store? Kohl's


29. Your summer? HOT


30. Your favorite color? purple


31. When is the last time you laughed? today


32. Last time you cried? Thursday


33. FOUR PLACES I GO OVER AND OVER: Work, Grocery Store, Sonic Drive In, Taco Bell


34. FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS: Mexican, pasta, brownies, fresh veggies


35. FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW: Nashville, The Ozarks, Paris (France, not Texas), Hawaii

Stranger Things Have Happened???

This morning I woke to find out that there had been a couple of earthquakes in the middle of the night...yup, in Texas. Believe it. Or not. It's not like it's never happened before, it's just that I've never heard of one here. Plus, the epicenters of the two that are being talked about most are within a couple of miles of my home. I guess like thunderstorms though, I just slept right on through them.

Tonight as I was driving home from shopping with my kids, I had to drive over a bridge that is quite high in the air, the kind that is part of a mixmaster of highway intersections. Knowing that there were earthquakes here this morning, had me re-thinking the decision to be on a bridge that high. I managed not to panic and made it off the bridge and home safely.

How big were these quakes, you may ask? The biggest was a 3.1 on the Richter scale. Yeah yeah, I can hear you California people laughing at me...

Trust

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

This week I was reminded again that were it not for the relationship I have now with The Lord, there is no possible way I could work where I do. Without Him, my anxiety would just not let me do it.

A few days ago, we were told that they were going to change our "Emergency Lockdown" procedures which would entail changing the way they announce a lockdown. For instance, instead of saying "Teachers, we are having an emergency lockdown", they might say something like "We are having an emergency lockdown because we have an intruder with a gun in the 7th grade hallway." Can you say stressful?!?

Also changing is the fact that more scenarios are being considered. Before, our lockdown drills happened only during regular class time. Problem is that you can't determine that something bad will only happen during those times. You must also consider that it might happen at lunch time or before school when the lunchroom is filled with hundreds of students. This would make it a lot harder to manage the way the kids react.

The reason they are changing procedures is because of the fact that school shootings are on the rise. From what they told us, there were 5 this year within the first two months of school. That's more than the total of any year since 2000.

We were told that we would be having a lockdown drill within two weeks, we wouldn't know exactly when, and we weren't supposed too let the kids know it was going to happen. The fact that I work with some kids who might be more prone to freak out is a big concern for me. Plus, since I'm all over the school, I never know where I might be when a drill like that happens. And it brings to mind that if there were something real happening, I'm much more likely to be stuck in a hallway, etc.

Thankfully, the drill happened on Friday. I was where I wanted to be, not stuck in a hallway, but with a teacher who has excellent classroom management skills. No one freaked out and it went just fine. Whew...

When things like this are going on I really have to ask myself, do I truly trust your Lord? Will I trust You no matter what? This is when I cannot lean on my own understanding. Otherwise, I can't keep doing what I know my Lord wants me to do and keep being where I know He wants me to be.

By the way, in case anyone was wondering. I didn't have to take anything to help keep me calm either, just regular doses of prayer and the peace that only The Lord can give.

One of my faves

Ephesians 5:19-20 (New International Version)
19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I love worship music more than I can say, and my favorites are the ones that help me to picture heaven the way scripture tells us it will be. I long for that day.

Jeremy Camp has a new song that touches me more than any song in a while. Evidently, the CD that has this song doesn't come out till the end of November. I know I'll be getting it!

Here's a video of him singing the song. It's a live version, but still very good.



Revelation 21:4 (New International Version)
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."

Well it sounded like a good idea...

...but the no complaining thing I talked about in my last post, well I've already dropped out. Sad, I know. I don't want to be a quitter. And I don't think I'm the type who people think of as a complainer anyway. Besides, the wristband that I'm supposed to switch to the other hand each time I complain bothers me so much on my right wrist that I'd be willing to complain just to get it back onto the left wrist.

Maybe I'll try it again some day...when I don't have 2 teenagers, 3 dogs, a cat, and a "glass half empty" husband in my house. Well, hopefully I'll still have the husband, but you get the idea. I'm sure the fact that I've had one of the absolute craziest weeks at my job since I started didn't help either. Ahh, such is life.

So glad it's the weekend!

Who's complaining now?

So today at our faculty meeting, the principal showed a video about a church that started an organization called "A Complaint Free World". It was really quite interesting. The minister who started it felt like people complain way too much...umm, I must say I agree. And I would fit into the "complain too much" category myself these days. Certain things, at home and at work, have had me complaining quite a bit lately. That's one of the reasons I haven't been blogging so much...because I really don't like blogging when I have something negative to say.

I consider myself a fairly positive person. I know that keeping a smile on my face helps to keep me, and those around me, feeling good. Lately I have just been feeling like whining and griping quite a bit more. So this complaint free thing should be just the ticket.

I've been working on not complaining since this afternoon after the meeting. So far I've been harder on myself than I would be on others, for instance considering an "eye roll" a complaint and switching the armband. I may have to re-think what whether or not I consider that to be a complaint. This is NOT easy! :)

That being said, I would like to throw out a challenge. How many of you would like to join me in striving to be complaint free? The goal is to be complaint free for 21 days. Again, NOT easy...

Here is a video to tell you more:

Next Saturday

I have no extra plans next weekend except for the game on Friday night. Woohoo! So, here's the plan for Saturday. I'll get the house spic and span. I'll do all the basics like laundry, dishes and vacuuming. Then I'll dust in every nook and cranny. Even the ceiling fan will be free from any speck of dust.

Then I'll re-arrange the book shelf and rid it of any miscellaneous extras that someone thought they would read, but never did. I'll cut down the CD collection to just those that we still might find ourselves listening to on an average Saturday afternoon. Same goes for the DVDs.

After all that, I'll clean out the drawers in the kitchen and in the bathroom. Next will come the cabinets and only things we use at least once a year will be neatly stacked making everything easy to find when I need it. The cabinets under the sinks won't have the sundry items that haven't been touched in eons.

Once I've worked my way through everything I've listed so far, I'll make the trek upstairs and start my work there. The linen closet will have only one extra set of sheets per bed in our home and there will be no more towels that should've been long since gone. There will also be a sweet scent as I will place a couple of wonderfully scented sachets with my neatly stacked linens.

Off to the bedroom I'll go and my bed will already be neatly made, of course, because who doesn't make their bed the instant they step out of it in the morning? I'll fluff the pillows and straighten the comforter. I'll then strip the closet and the drawers of any clothing that hubby and I haven't worn since before last year. I'll dust and vacuum and then straighten the picture frames on the dresser. Candles will be lit and I won't worry that any stacks of paper hubby left near will catch on fire, because he always puts his things where they go.

Once I'm done with the housework, I'll take a short break and sip some tea.

I'm sure that there will still be much of the morning left, so I'll be off to survey the garage sales in the area. I'm sure I'll find many things I truly need priced at a quarter or so. I'll bring my things home and place them where they go. I won't throw them in a corner or on the kitchen table.

A lunch date with a friend or two might be just the thing I do later. We'll chat and laugh. We'll eat our salads and drink our diet coke and won't think of having the chocolate cake for dessert. Stories of the accomplishments of our children this week will abound and none will be jealous because all of them are near perfect, you know.

Once evening is near, I'll get busy cooking dinner. I'll feed the children who will give me a hug and be off to their rooms to do their homework. A beautifully adorned table and a decadent meal will be waiting when hubby comes home from his afternoon of hanging out with the guys. We'll dine and talk while the candles glow. Then we'll retire to the back porch and sip a glass of wine while listening to our favorite romantic music. After that...well, you'll just have wonder.

A fantasy, you say? A dream? Hey people, it could happen!!!

Stuff, Stuff and More Stuff

Matthew 6:20 (New International Version)
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.



Wow, I feel like I have so much to tell right now. I had planned on blogging about everything that's been going on in my life. I'm feeling much better than when I last posted and thanks for the prayers. So much is going on in my life (as usual), but that will have to wait, because this just happened...



There was an old looking (but not so old) purple bike at the side of my house in a little fenced in area. It had been sitting there in the weather for a couple of years. I don't remember how it first ended up out there. Originally, someone gave it to us when they moved out of state and were trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible. It was a very nice bike when we received it. I was the one who had planned on using it, but never did and because of the way it had been treated, it wasn't so nice any more...



Today a 5th grader, an adorable boy, rang my doorbell and asked "Would you like to donate a purple bike to the homeless?" At first I didn't know what he was talking about and looked at him a bit perplexed. Then he laughed and said "Nah, I'm just kidding." Then it dawned on me that he was talking about that bike at the side of the house. I told him he could have it even though I'm not sure that it's fixable. I'm pretty sure that it's too rusty, but he looked like he was up for a challenge and he really wanted it, so he took it home.



The conversation with the boy was such a blessing and it felt good to say that he could take the bike, but it has me thinking again...there are so many reasons I need to work on my nature as a pack rat. I have SO MUCH STUFF that I don't use and much of it I never will. Many of the things that have my home overflowing could be a blessing to others. Why do I hold on to all of it? It reminds me a bit of this great poem:

SARAH CYNTHIA SYLVIA STOUT

by Shel Silverstein

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout

Would not take the garbage out.

She'd wash the dishes and scrub the pans

Cook the yams and spice the hams,

And though her parents would scream and shout,

She simply would not take the garbage out.

And so it piled up to the ceiling:

Coffee grounds, potato peelings,

Brown bananas and rotten peas,

Chunks of sour cottage cheese.

It filled the can, it covered the floor,

It cracked the windows and blocked the door,

With bacon rinds and chicken bones,

Drippy ends of ice cream cones,

Prune pits, peach pits, orange peels,

Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,

Pizza crusts and withered greens,

Soggy beans, and tangerines,

Crusts of black-burned buttered toast,

Grisly bits of beefy roast.

The garbage rolled on down the halls,

It raised the roof, it broke the walls,

I mean, greasy napkins, cookie crumbs,

Blobs of gooey bubble gum,

Cellophane from old bologna,

Rubbery, blubbery macaroni,

Peanut butter, caked and dry,

Curdled milk, and crusts of pie,

Rotting melons, dried-up mustard,

Eggshells mixed with lemon custard,

Cold French fries and rancid meat,

Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat.

At last the garbage reached so high

That finally it touched the sky,

And none of her friends would come to play,

And all of her neighbors moved away;

And finally, Sarah Cynthia Stout

Said, "Okay, I'll take the garbage out!"

But then, of course it was too late,

The garbage reached across the state,

From New York to the Golden Gate;

And there in the garbage she did hate

Poor Sarah met an awful fate

That I cannot right now relate

Because the hour is much too late

But children, remember Sarah Stout,

And always take the garbage out.

I'm better than I used to be. I am working on releasing more of the things in my home...and I stopped buying more things I don't really need several years ago. When I was a stay-at-home mom, Flylady helped me start to get things under control and it really was helping so much, but once I went to work full time the backsliding, oh how it did happen!



I know you're working on me, Lord. Oh how I wish I were better at listening to you. Now off to take out the trash...

Rough Week

Matthew 11:28-29 (New International Version)
28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Seems like it has just been one thing after another this week. There hasn't been anything catastrophic, it's just been difficult.

Things at work were crazy because it was a week full of tests and that means lots of reading to kids (a test that many of them just simply don't have the ability to do) and scheduling issues because there are too many kids and not enough teachers/aides.

Home life has also been stressful. Our schedule is jam packed, both of the kids were sick, homework to do, etc.

Then K had a meltdown before school this morning. I was 15 minutes late for work (I hate being late) and I just couldn't seem to recover from the stress of that combined with everything else.

I tried really hard to just get through the day at work, but I ended up having to leave when I realized I was on the verge of a serious panic attack. I'm talking about the kind of panic attack where you seriously feel like you might die, the chest hurting, hyperventilating kind. It didn't actually get to that point, but I've been there enough that I recognize the signs.

I was supposed to work with the band crew tonight at the football game and I felt terribly guilty because I just couldn't do it. We're so short-staffed on volunteers as it is, but I had to have a break. We have another band event tomorrow and I don't know that I'll make that one either.

I have to remind myself that when I am emotionally unhealthy, it's no different than if I were physically ill. Why is it so hard to give yourself a break when it's something emotional? If I had a broken leg, I might feel bad a little if I couldn't help, but it wouldn't be the same. It's easier to say "I just can't do it" when someone can see the cast on your leg. It's just that not everyone seems to understand that something's broken when they can't see it for themselves, can't feel it for themselves.

I know that every trial I go through is preparing me for something. I know that if I keep focused on the Lord, He will use what I am going through for good. I know that he is refining me.

I also know that I need to rest a little more than I have been. I can't continue doing as much as I have been doing. Some people can do so much more. Some people have that kind of energy. I am not one of those people. Somehow I have to learn to be ok with that.

I cried out to the Lord today. I am calmer tonight. I am taking a break.

Sometimes It's True...

Last night, my procrastinator of a son remembered that he had a science project due today. He had to make a cell membrane model. The only reason he remembered is because we have something called Teleparent here. Teleparent is wonderful because it is an automated system that calls on the phone to let you know things like when kids have projects due, to study for a test, etc. This gave T a chance to get his project turned in on time.



T still procrastinated past the time he knew about the project (about 7pm) until 9:30 or so. Then he had to find things around the house to use to make his cell model because he had lost the opportunity to have us pick up anything from the store (the offer had been made). He started brainstorming and eventually came up with an idea after I suggested homemade play dough (flour, water and salt).



T worked most of the night on his creation, kneading paint from my craft box into pieces of dough to make different colors for the parts of it (we were out of food coloring). When I got up to let the dogs out at 3am, he was still working on it (I'm sure he took breaks to watch t.v., but still).



When I got up this morning, I saw two cell models made, one a plant cell and one an animal cell. They looked great! He had stuck toothpicks into the different parts and labeled them with little pieces of paper. The colors looked good. It was really nice work. I wish I had a picture to show you how good it looked. But alas...sometimes it's true...the dog ate his homework. Some time between the time I left for work and the time that Tyler got out of the shower our dog who loves anything bread-like (flour, salt and water..close enough) chomped on his work.

The dog ate both the plant cell model and the animal cell model, at least parts of both. You may remember Molly from when I posted about my dogs. Molly is T's dog. He adores her, but I betcha he doesn't like her much today. And I'm not gonna like her much either if the non-toxic paint he used to make the models upset her stomach and I have to clean that up when I get home.

So I emailed the teacher and let her know he really did do the work. She said that he could re-do it and turn it in late for a 70. Plus, she said that if he wanted extra credit he could do both the plant and the animal cell models. Uh yep, that's right...he didn't have to do both in the first place, only one. Yet another thing T would've known had he been paying attention when the project was assigned.

Lesson learned?? We'll see...

These Were The Plans He Had For Me

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.


I made myself get out of bed at 11:00am today. Many of may be wondering how someone could possibly sleep that late. Well since you asked, I am e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d. For 16 years I was a stay-at-home mom and I volunteered a lot, so I definitely stayed busy. If I needed a little more rest, I just took naps during the day. Of course, there are no naps when you have a full time job (who would like to lobby to change that?). This working AND volunteering thing is T.O.U.G.H. But I realized something last night. As hard as this is, I really think it's what I'm supposed to be doing.

This week we had two different band events, which meant that the band crew had two late working nights (dinner provided by Taco Bell...again). I dreaded both of them, partially because I have been fighting terrible allergies for weeks(never have I had so much trouble with them this time of year!). Three days this week I very nearly called in sick. I have just been having the most difficult time getting through the work day. So adding on another "job" in the evening was just not what I wanted to do.



I realize that this probably sounds like a gripe session, but that's not what I'm intending. Arduous as the task has been, I have had a lot of fun. I love the friendships I have with the other parent volunteers and if you know me at all, you know how much I love working with the kids. There is something so satisfying (and healing) to me about being the "extra mama" for kiddos whose parents aren't around.



Last night I actually got my second wind and had a great time. It's a tradition that when we play our big rivals from across town we carry around braided yarn in the colors of the other team, the Tigers and the kids sing "I've got a tiger by the tail". We couldn't find any of our "tiger tails" from previous years, so I stopped by my mom's (we've been getting along pretty well lately) on the way to the game and borrowed some yarn to make them. Then I sat in the car before the game and quickly made some for K, T and K's two best friends. What really made my heart smile was knowing that one of K's friends was so happy to get one. Next year hopefully I will think ahead and make sure to have some "tiger tails" already done.

I'm beginning to think it's likely that even after my kids have all graduated, I might just keep volunteering with the band. After all, the kiddos I work with in the middle school will be moving on to high school and I'm sure I'll want to keep seeing them. I'll need something to keep me busy anyway, so Mama C might just have to do that.


In the past, many people have quoted Jeremiah 29:11 to me. There were so many years, the majority of my life in fact, that I worried every day about the "what ifs". All I could think about was what horrible thing was coming next in my life. And I had good reason to wonder. I had been through so much already. I also had an extremely hard time dealing with the hurts of others. If I would see someone in emotional pain, especially a child, it would just devastate me. Once I was finally able to let myself trust in the Lord's plan for my life (and for the lives of others), everything changed.

I can see now that God's plan for me is to work with kids. And it would not have been possible for me to do the things I'm doing now were I not trusting in Him. Sometimes it breaks my heart to know that the children I encounter need their "extra mama" so much. That's the kind of thing that I truly could not handle when I didn't put my complete trust in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The things I can handle now would've seriously caused me to have a breakdown then.

I'm sorry I didn't trust in the Lord sooner. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time, but I can't dwell on that. I know that the Lord is using me now. I know that He is still molding me to be the person He wants me to be. I pray that I will allow Him to use me to the fullest and I long to hear the words "well done, good and faithful servant". Help me Lord to follow Your plan.

Shout Out

Two of my favorite blogger friends have such good stuff on their blogs that I just have to give a shout out to them.

Jenn at Casa de Castro made me feel better about the economy...and...


Tracy at Our Journey has a great movie review.

Neti Pot

If you're eating or have a weak stomach, you may want to turn away. No, I'm not going to go into the worst of the grossness, but believe me I could get graphic here.

I have been fighting off a sinus infection by taking my allergy medicine every day, but even with the meds I've had quite a bit of congestion, hacking and coughing especially in the mornings. One of my friends at work suggested I get a neti pot. She said she has been using one for a couple of years and has only had one sinus infection during that time. She said she used to get them all the time.

The neti pot kind of looks like Aladdin's lamp to me. You can click here to see one. I've seen the strange contraption before on tv and heard about it from friends, but I was always scared to get one. It just didn't seem natural to me.

Basically, you fill the thing with lukewarm water and a salt solution. Then, with your head over the sink you stick the spout in one side of your nose and turn it up to pour it in. In a second or two, the salt water solution comes out the other side of your nose. Afterward, you blow your nose. Sounds gross, I know, but it's supposed to clean our your sinuses and help get rid of infection.

I finally broke down last night and bought a neti pot for me and one for K since we both have been so miserable that it seemed like the right time to take a chance...to be brave. Wow, after using it just once last night it seems to have helped tremendously. I woke up at 4am and was so excited not to have a huge amount of congestion (in fact almost none) and I could breathe through my nose! Only problem was that the excitement kept me from getting back to sleep...lol. Not a problem, since I had slept SO much better during the time I did sleep.

Sometimes it really pays to be brave.

My 100th Post and My First Meme

I've finally reached the milestone of my 100th post. Since I got tagged by Jenn at Casa de Castro to do a "Six Random Things" meme and since I could not come up with 100 things about me like the amazing HisGirl (I couldn't even come up with 50..), hopefully you'll all be satisfied with this. Otherwise, feel free to ask random questions and I'll answer pretty much anything else you want to know. So here goes...

1. I love to type, which is a good thing when you love to blog. :) I'm a pretty good typist, partially because I have a habit of tapping with my fingers on the sides of my legs (typing) things I say out loud or things others say to me. It can be a little embarassing when people notice me doing it. Weird is a good thing, right?

2. I have a fear of lakes or any body of water that has fish or other water creatures. Not being able to see to the bottom of the lake makes my imagination run wild wondering what's down there and if it might graze me swimming by. I also can't stand the thought of the dirt and germs or other icky stuff that could be in a lake. My mom says that even when I was a small child, I didn't like lakes and would cry if we would drive over a long bridge over a lake.

3. I have traveled very little in my life, but my favorite place I have visited is Alaska. My family spent the summer there the year I was 12. I would absolutely love to visit there again. It's also interesting that it was the only time I've ever seen the ocean and it was the Arctic. I still have never been to the Texas coast even though it's only 5 or so hours away from me.

4. I love Tex-mex food. I could eat it every meal, breakfast, lunch and dinner and sometimes do. And it must be spicy hot! I buy salsa in the institutional size container.

5. I have a loud voice. An old lady at a party once rather rudely told me that my voice was going to be the only thing heard on the video tape of the party. Having a loud voice isn't always bad though. If you need someone to yell across a crowd to get another person's attention, I'm your girl!

6. I went by the name Susan instead of Suzanne from the time I was 12 till I was about 30 because a boy made fun of my name in jr. high school. He would yell "Shazam!" down the hallway. Anyone remember the tv show Shazam? I also thought Susan sounded more "normal". I love my name now and I'm glad it's not that common.

Well those are my Six Random Things.

Ooooh, now it's my turn to tag someone to tell their Six Random Things. Hmmm, let's see. I pick:

Susan at Lila's Journey

Jess at Mourning Into Dancing

Tracy at Our Journey

Joan at More God = Less Me

Oy vey! What a day!

Wow! I am just about wiped out today. Last night was the homecoming football game. We had fun even though our team lost, but I was a little disappointed that I didn't see anyone from the class of '83. Typically at the homecoming games every year I will see a few people that I knew from high school and this being our 25th year I thought I might see a few more. Does no one follow tradition any more? Oh well...if I didn't have kids there, I'm not sure I'd have been there either.

I was up till 2am because we didn't get home from the football game till 12:00 and I have to have time to wind down. After about 6 hours of sleep (I need at least 2 hours more), I got up and took T to drama rehearsal. Then I stopped and picked up donuts to take to the fundraiser garage sale that K was doing. I helped with the garage sale for several hours till time to pick up T from drama rehearsal.

I went to pick up T at 1pm, but they weren't finished rehearsing yet. So I rushed to Kroger to see if their floral department had any mums left over for homecoming...the dance is tonight. Nothing like waiting till the last minute! Thankfully, they had two left and one looked really nice. Sixty dollars poorer, I walked out with something kind of like this, only with our school colors (didn't think of taking a picture of the one I did get).

Then I went back to the school to pick up T, who by now was finished rehearsing. Next task was to go shopping for something for him to wear to the dance. Again, nothing like waiting till the last minute. About 10 stores later and 80 dollars poorer (not bad really for suit pants and jacket, plus tie that had to match the girlfriend's dress), we finally had his outfit. Not bad really, compared to the cost involved for getting a girl ready for the homecoming dance. Oh, by the way...K has no interest whatsoever in school dances which is why I wasn't dealing with getting two kids ready.

Whewww...I'm starting to realize why I am so exhausted.

Next up on the agenda, T and I had to go help pack up the leftovers from the garage sale with K. Woohoo! K made $111 toward her trip to Philmont next summer with Venturing Crew. Good thing, since it's going to cost over $800 total. More garage sales are planned and probably other fundraising events too.

Later back at the house, I got a chance to sit down and rest for just a few minutes while T took a shower, before ironing his shirt and tying his tie for him. I couldn't believe I'd forgotten how to tie a tie (used to do it all the time till D learned how to tie his own) and since D is gone on a camping trip with the scout troop, I had to figure it out. It took a while even with the picture we found on the internet, but we finally did git 'er done.

Once T made sure he looked perfect to go, we went to pick up his girlfriend and a couple more of their friends. I got lots of pictures of the lovely couple and of the group before driving them to the dance. By the way, we did pick out just the right tie because I heard T and his girlfriend say it looked like they had shopped together because the color match was so good. Score!!

I dropped off four giggly kids at the dance and then stopped on the way home to pick up dinner for me and K and now we're watching a catch-up soap opera marathon from the ones we have recorded. Can I just say, I love my recliner... Now if only I could fall asleep while watching, but I can't. T won't be home for about an hour and a half and I'm one of those moms who has to stay awake till the kids are all home.

When I finally get to go to bed, I will sleep well tonight!

Starting to Feel Like Fall..and a Few Other Things

Daniel 2:21 (New International Version)
He changes times and seasons; he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.

Ahhh, this morning when I went to get into my car it was so cool I thought I might have to wear a sweater soon. Lovely weather we're having here! Sometimes I wish it was like this every day, but then I guess we wouldn't appreciate the great weather if we didn't have the bad weather to compare it to.

Next subject, my hubby and I are really not enjoying some things about the high school experience for our kiddos right now because of one particular teacher. It's so irritating when a person seems to love the "power" of being in a certain position while doing as little as possible of the responsibilities that go with being in that position. Plus, there have been a few occurrences. that are just unacceptable. Unfortunately, what used to be a very good program has deteriorated because of this individual. Several parents are contacting the principal, so we'll see what happens...

And onto my final topic of this post, I am SO glad that I don't work as a substitute teacher every day. Every so often, I will be called from my regular job to cover for a teacher that is absent and today was one of those days. The class where I was a sub today was just awful. Usually I think I'm pretty good at managing the kids, but today I just couldn't seem to keep them under control.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day...and it's supposed to be another beautiful, cool day too.

Dear Lord, please give me the wisdom to handle the situations I encounter in a way that brings You glory.

We Were Spared By Ike...Pray For Those Who Weren't

Thankfully, here in Dallas we just got some much needed rain from hurricane Ike. Since we thought we were going to get much more, we canceled the fundraiser garage sale that we were going to have. That gave us a weekend with very little else to do, so we managed to get the house back in order. Hallelujah! While I wouldn't want someone to look closely and see the dust that is still there, at least I would no longer be completely embarassed for someone to come into my home.

I also had time to catch up on blogging. I think I had about 40 posts to catch up on from my favorite blog-sisters. It was great reading what everyone else has been up to. I also finally had time to post the recipe that I accidentally published and then took down because I was missing part of the recipe (3 weeks ago!). So now it really is there if you click on my recipe blog.

Unfortunately, Ike wasn't so kind to other areas. I called my dad in East Texas last night and he said they had a pretty good storm and their power had been out for hours, but there wasn't a whole lot of damage that they could see so far. Then I saw on the news all the damage in Houston and they said they might not have power back for weeks! I feel so bad for all they're going through...

Praying for those who have lost so much this weekend that God will give them comfort and restoration.

Friday Night Lights

I grew up in the land of "Friday Night Lights", but I didn't really have much school spirit. I guess maybe I just had too many things on my plate to care much about other things that high school kids are supposed to be doing. I don't have those memories of camaraderie that come with being part of the band or the football team or the cheerleaders. I was in choir, but even that was done halfheartedly. So many times I have wished I had those memories, memories of being part of something.

It's interesting how God chooses to heal our hurts, how he gives us something that will fix even the unfixable. For me, being the co-crew chief for the band crew is helping to fix that part of me that didn't get to experience school spirit. Even greater for me is that my kids go to the same school where I went, my alma mater.

I'm part of the team now. Along with other parents, I work hard on Friday nights to make sure our band kids have what they need. I help to fill up hundreds of water cups and pass them out, passing out sodas at half time (shouting "only take one, only take one!"...lol), and passing out plumes for their hats. It may not sound like much, but it really takes a lot of effort and cooperation. It also satisfies the need to be part of something, something I never really experienced in high school.

Standing there holding up my index finger (we're #1!), as I sing my school song I do have school spirit. I have something I longed for when I was younger.

Whatever it is...whatever your "unfixable" thing, it doesn't matter that you can't go back and do it over again. God can fix it. He finds a way. Believe He can. And He will.

9-11-2001 Never Forget

I didn't want to forget that day. So I journaled how I felt. Reading it today, I can see that I was unable to convey my emotion through my words on a page. I was so much more upset than these words seem to tell. I am glad I journaled it though. Here is what I wrote that day:

September 11, 2001

Dean and I walked the kids to school this morning. I chased Tyler while he laughed, trying to catch up with him. I thought to myself, at the time, that I knew I would cherish that memory forever. What I didn’t know is that this would be such a defining day in my life for another reason. We dropped the kids off at school, kissed them goodbye and went for a walk. It’s such a brilliant beautiful day today. Dean and I both talked about how wonderful a day it was…how cool it was…so much cooler than it usually is this time of year. We really enjoyed our walk.

When we got home, Dean went and turned on the shower to get ready for work. I went into the bedroom and turned on the TV. That’s when I saw it…The World Trade Center…both towers in flames. Peter Jennings was just telling the world about how two planes had crashed into the buildings, an apparent terrorist attack. I called to Dean to come listen. The shower still running, we both stood and stared at the television in horror. Then the report that the Pentagon had also been attacked. The magnitude of all of this is beyond belief. I keep hoping that I’ll wake up and this will all have been a terrible nightmare.

How do I explain this to my children? I think of the times that I’ve prayed for the parents in war torn countries and hope there are parents in other countries praying for us now. I pray that God will give me the words to tell my children. I pray that my children will not be made to live in fear.

I walked outside in the front yard and looked up at the sky. It’s so quiet. There are no planes in the sky. I talked to my mom on the phone. She works near Love Field Airport. She says that it’s strangely quiet there.

My imagination runs wild with thoughts of how our lives might change in the months to come.

I pray that God will touch the hearts of those involved in this attack on our country. I pray that they will come to realize what they have done.

God Bless America…those words never meant more to me than they do today.

Smile!

I've mentioned before that I love working with kids who have Asperger's Syndrome (I'll abbreviate to A.S. for the rest of the post) and I've mentioned that it's because we're 99.9% sure that my 16 yr. old daughter has Asperger's Syndrome. Those kids remind me of my daughter whom I love dearly and I find it to be very amusing when they say something that sounds just like something she would say. The things I hear from my daughter and from the A.S. kids I work with sound a little different because they think differently from others.

A.S. people don't read the emotion on a person's face in the same way as most people do either. My daughter K has pretty much always had a problem with the fact that I smile "too much". She doesn't understand why someone would smile most of the time. Then there's the girl I work with who calls me the Joy Fairy (and she means that I'm annoying to her that way). And then there's the boy I worked with a lot last year...

The boy I worked with last year is the one who led me to believe that my daughter has A.S. because the meltdowns he would have at school looked very similar to the ones that my daughter has at home. I got along with him better than most people at the school (probably because I've had years of experience dealing with someone like him). I know he likes me because he will make a point of coming to see me this year to let me know how he's doing.

The same boy walked up to me the other day and smiled. I asked him how he's doing this year and he's doing much better. It seems that he's doing well in all his classes. This made me smile and of course it was a big smile because I'm so proud of him. That's when he said something that didn't shock me at all considering I tend to understand the way A.S. kids think...

"That smile of yours....it's kinda creepy", he said. He pointed to his lips and told me how I show all my teeth when I smile. "Just creepy", he said. It was just a matter of fact to him. He didn't mean it in a rude way at all, I'm sure of that. All I could do was laugh.

...Sigh...

I'm frustrated about some things right now, including my current work schedule and the raising of teenagers. And I don't like to sound like a whiner, but...

Initially, it seemed as though my schedule at work was going to be extremely busy. Then I found out that for multiple reasons it's actually slightly boring. The majority of the kids they have me paired up with need very little help. I love the teachers I'm working with, so some of the time I could just sit and chat, but I just feel like I could be doing so much more.

The kids in the original class where I was need help all the time, some of them with every math question they have and I like being busy with them. At least I can see the kiddos who really need me and help them some, since I keep my things in their room and stop off there often.


Then there's the raising of teenagers. I get so frustrated with them at times. Between K's meltdowns and T's lackadaisical attitude , I'm just about tired of raising kids at the moment. Well I'm exaggerating, but I do wish someone else would step in and deal out the discipline, handle the arguments and make sure homework actually gets done. Then I can just be the cool mom I want to be and my children will adore me. I can dream, can't I?!?

Wordle

I liked Jenn's so much, I had to make one of my own. That's it on the right. Click it to big it.

Open House

Well I made it through the first day of my new schedule and tonight was Open House. I didn't have to be there since I'm an aide, but I decided to go to get credit for extra curricular activities for a grant that I may be able to get. I didn't get home till 9:00pm, but it was so totally worth it to get hugs and smiles from kids I knew from last year that came back to visit.

Feet.hurt.bad. Back.hurts. Head.aches.

Still, LOVE.MY.JOB.

Don't Get Too Comfortable...

Just when you do get comfortable, things change again. That's the way it is with life in general, and that's the way it is with my job too. I thought I had a "permanent" schedule for work, although I know from my experience last year that things can change from moment to moment. The principal has decided to shake things up considerably. So instead of being in one classroom for most of the day, tomorrow I'll be back to doing what I did last year.

I'll be traveling from classroom to classroom to classroom and so on. There are 8 class periods in a day and I'm responsible for helping kiddos in 3 classes 1st period, 2 classes each of periods 2-7, and 5 classes in 8th period. Needless to say, I'll be walking A LOT... I guess that's good since I could use the exercise. It just seems a little harder to build good relationships with kids when you have SO many of them. And because of the huge number of classes on my schedule I may not see some of the kids for over a week at a time.

I just realized that the last paragraph sounds like a math word problem (shudder). Well actually, that's because it kind of is one. I still haven't figured out exactly how I'm going to work it out either. It's pretty much insanity...but I found this one the web, so I'm good:


HOW TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY IN THE WORKPLACE

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.

Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."

Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask him or her if they want fries with that.

Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Help! Weekend..why are you leaving me so quickly?!?

I am so thankful to have a three day weekend. It is just going by so quickly! I still have SO much to get done before this day is over. Energy. need. more. energy. That's part of the problem. Both D and I are looking the what we wish we could get done this weekend and feeling tired a bit overwhelmed. There is just too much to do.

I did get the grocery shopping done on Saturday. That was a priority since we were out of pretty much everything and I was getting really tired of fast food (not to mention that it's terribly unhealthy). T mowed the lawn and D vacuumed the pool. K and I finished painting her room (or got it as finished as it's going to be). D fixed the faucets that were leaking terribly (although he couldn't get the right part and had to make multiple trips to Home Depot and now one of the faucets has to be turned the on way for off and the off way for on..if that makes any sense). The house has been straightened up a little...and whew! Maybe we've done more than I thought.

It's just that there is so much more to get done. The dishes keep getting dirty and the laundry is still piled up and the dogs have torn up something and...and...I could go on, but feel the need to stop. I need to stop because I am just stressing myself out even more.

So I will make a priority list and a chore chart. I will threaten the loss of cell phones to let my children know how important it is that they do their chores (because that's the only thing that will work sometimes). I will start a load of laundry and a load of dishes. And I will get done what I can get done before this weekend comes to a close. Then I will try not to worry about how much more there is left to do...

Now I need your help. The whole time I've been typing this post, I've been wondering what scripture would be most applicable to my situation. I can't think of one. What do you think? What scripture would you offer to me now? I know that you will have great ones to offer and I love you and thank you in advance my dear friends!

Anger Management

Psalm 4:4 (New International Version)
In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

Today at work, I had to deal with a very angry young man. He was upset because the lead teacher got on to him for disrupting the class. It wasn't a big deal really, but this child is the type that seems to have a very short fuse. I was able to take him out into the hall and get him calmed down and then the rest of the time in class he was fine.

Another time today, a child I worked with last year walked up to me in the hallway and smiled. I was so glad to see him and gave him a hug. He has Asperger's Syndrome, which means he is prone to what is kind of like a temper tantrum or "meltdown". The problems with his temper led to a lot of problems last year, but he seems to be doing better now.

Those two occurences made me think. Do you ever have those times when you can finally seem to understand what the good is that has come from something difficult you've been through? I had one of those times today. I realized that were it not for things I'd been through myself (and things that at the time I'd rather not have gone through!), then I wouldn't the abilities I have now.

I L.O.V.E. working with kids who have anger issues. I seem to be really good at working with them. I can sometimes develop a relationship with kids that few others can. I know how to remain calm and I know how to show respect even when I'm being disrespected. And I don't say this to brag, because I know that my natural self could never, ever do it. I know that when I'm able to do these things it is because of the fact that Christ lives in me.

There were so many trials in my life that trained me for what I do now in my job. The fact that I was abused as a child helps me to always stop to think about what the reasons may be for a child acting out in class. I've had plenty to be angry about in my life, so I can see why they might be angry. I have a husband with some anger issues and a child who we're pretty sure has Asperger's Syndrome , which means we deal with "meltdowns" frequently. All of these seem to have been boot camp for working in special education.

It never ceases to amaze me how God works in our lives to use all things, good or bad, for the glory of His kingdom. It's not easy going through the tribulations of our lives and sometimes I want out of them so badly, but I am thankful to know that He does have a plan. And I am thankful to be part of it.

Oh, and by the way, thanks for your prayers about my exhaustion. I'm feeling much more energized today!

Feet, Don't Fail Me Now!

On the positive side, school is going amazingly well. On the negative side, my feet H.U.R.T.! I am so totally not used to spending time on my feet after having the summer off work. And tired is not the word to describe how I feel right now.

Aside from total exhaustion, I am loving being back at work with all my friends and with the kids too. Now if I could get past the exhaustion back to being able to function once I'm off work, that'd be great. Right now, once I'm home from work I don't want to do a single thing. No dishes. No laundry. And especially no stack of forms that the kids need that should already be done. Did I mention I was exhausted?

I want to be able to make this post so much longer and tell you how much I love my job, because I really, really do. But until I've gotten past this first couple of weeks (hopefully!), my brain just might not be able.

Hope this post even made sense.... **yawn**

Gosh, I Love That Kid!

Don't know how I could've forgotten to post earlier my favorite thing that happened on the first day of school (probably because it was a very hurried post before I rushed off to bible study). I wasn't sure that one of my favorite kiddos would even remember the nickname she gave me last year. Then as class began, I walked over to say hello to her and tell her I'd missed her over the summer. And then she said it...in her special exasperated tone seemingly pretending that she didn't miss me..."It's the joy fairy". Gosh, I love that kid!

The Honeymoon Period

The kids at school were incredibly and unbelievably good today. We barely had to get onto any of them at all. They were little angels in each class. Now if they can just keep that up for the next 176 days left in the school year. Considering the fact that some of our kiddos end up in resource class simply for behavior issues, that's not likely...but I can dream, can't I?

Oh, and for those of you who thought I was good at math simply because I'm an aide for a math class, umm...no. The class I'm working in is taught at about a 4th grade level and I kinda have to re-learn some of that as the teacher teaches it. Nope, no math genius here...

Altogether for a first day, not bad. Not bad at all.

Tomorrow, Tomorrow..

Less than 24 hours till the kids are back in school. I found out my assignment for this year and I will be working in the resource math class. Woohoo, I will be in one classroom with one set of kids pretty much all the time. I'm very happy about that because last year I was all over the place in different classrooms and had so many kids to check on that I would only get to see some of them a couple of times a week. Hopefully I will feel like I'm able to help the kids more since I will see the same ones all the time.

Now I'm off to get my laundry done so I will have something decent to wear tomorrow...

A Time For Hot Flashes

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (New International Version)
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven

Some people say that Texas doesn't really have seasons and I can understand why. Really, you just "never know what you gonna get". It can literally end up being 80something degrees any day during the year and I once saw two days back to back where one day was 81 degrees and the next was 18 degrees. It's amazing how quickly things can change. That would be why they say "If you don't like the weather in Texas, just wait a few minutes".

Since I sometimes experience hot flashes, and no I cannot be old enough to have those, I am longing for some 18 degree days right now. Well, maybe not 18 degrees, but I'd definitely like to see some cooler temps. While the weather has cooled down about 10 degrees for the highs, mid 90s aren't really what I'm looking for right now.

Another problem with warm temperatures and hot flashes is that it makes having a warm laptop computer harder to deal with. I long to keep in touch with my bloggy buddies, yet the longer I have this computer in my lap, the warmer I get.

So this is the time of the year when I cry come quickly winter, come quickly. And yes, in December I will probably be whining about the cold...lol.

I Love My Kids

Psalm 127:3 (New American Standard Bible)
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

I love my kids. I love my kids. I love my kids. I love that they are home with me and not out getting into trouble. I love that they are healthy. I love that they make good grades and have nice friends. I love that they don't cause trouble at school. I love that their teachers tell me they are great kids.

Ok, I feel better now. I just needed a little bit of gratitude journaling to remind me of those things because at this very moment they are driving me C.R.A.Z.Y.

I've always been against letting my kids have "their own little apartments", meaning that I don't generally put tv's, computers, stereos, etc. in their rooms. Sometimes an extra tv will make its way there, but there's no cable in their rooms, so they don't care to watch tv there. The reason for this is because I want my children to be around me. I don't want to get to the point where I have no clue who they are because I've not interacted with them enough.

Then there are times like this evening when I almost wish they had "their own little apartments", when there is seemingly neverending talking infused with quite a bit of arguing over just about ANYTHING. They kick each other and yell at each other. They flick each other with wet wash rags. They act like they can't stand each other while I yell "STOP IT!"

And just when I don't think I can stand it any more, they start watching the olympics and actually conversing with each other about what they're both watching. They actually talk to each other and laugh about something. They have a real relationship with each other; a relationship I don't see with many siblings these days. They don't always act like they love each other, but I know that they do.

Thank You Father for the blessing of my children. Thank You for reminding me how blessed I am.

Happy Times At The Donut Palace

Genesis 9:13 (New International Version)
I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

No, I didn't get to eat any donuts, but I did get a picture of a rainbow...and realized that the Donut Palace really needs a new sign.

Tired...so tired...

What a night last night was! In case you missed yesterday's post, my 16 yr. old daughter had freshman initiation for the new flute players in the band here at our house. We had 20 teenagers in our small house and back yard. They had fun dressing the freshmen in silly outfits and had a candy filled piñata for them to bash.

I was supposed to be able to sleep while my older daughter, age 24, watched all the kids. That didn't quite happen as I felt the need to check on things quite frequently. That wasn't the kids' fault, they were really good and quiet all things considered.

I should've done what S4J said and just said no... Nah, not really. It was worth it, I guess. Even though I am completely wiped out after working all day (and a really crazy busy day it was) on 2 1/2 hours of sleep, I know that the kids had a blast. I think it's someone else's turn to host "freshman wakeup" next year though.

I think I will eat dinner and go to bed very soon...

My Crazy Weekend

Short post to say I had a very busy weekend. I worked till 4:00pm yesterday and then left at about 5:00pm to go visit my dad and stepmom who live 2 1/2 hours away. It's my dad's birthday today and we wanted to surprise him with a visit since it's been quite a while since we've seen him.

If you've read my story, you may wonder about my visiting my dad. It's a long story to tell how God worked things out, but I don't have time to tell it right now. Long story short though, my dad is not the same person I grew up knowing. God has performed a work in his life that is nothing short of miraculous in my opinion. I have been wanting to share the details for a while, but just haven't yet. I hope to have that post done one of these days soon though.

We had a very nice, if also very quick visit with my dad and stepmom. We got to meet his Sunday school group (which he says are the best ever and I must say they do seem very sweet) and then got to listen to him play his guitar and sing for their church service.

We're home now and in a couple of hours there will be 15-20 kids in my home for "freshman wakeup", meaning my daughter K and her upper classmen band friends (along with my 24 yr. old daughter) will go wake freshman from the high school band at about 12:30am, bring them to my house and make them do silly things as a type of initiation. Don't worry though, no one will actually be made to do anything of course.

"Freshman wakeup" is supposed to happen downstairs while I sleep peacefully upstairs because I have to work tomorrow. We'll see if that happens. Am I crazy? Yeah, must be. Glutton for punishment? Yeah, must be that too.

If I have survived this weekend, maybe I'll get a post done some time tomorrow... :)

Olympics Question

So I heard an interesting question on the Olympics Channel (didn't know there was one, but my 16 yr. old has been recording it). If you could compete in any of the summer Olympics sports, which one would you do?

For me, it would definitely be gymnastics. Specifically, I love the uneven bars because I used to think I was pretty good at them when I was a kid. I was totally enthralled with Nadia Comanici in the 76 Olympics. I'd like to opt out of the balance beam though because I'm a little afraid of heights.

So what's your sport?

My New Hair Cut

Ok, I'm a little self-conscious (aka self-absorbed), so I don't really like to post pictures of myself. But here goes.

This is before (hair has been up in a clip all summer)

And this is the after shot. Keep in mind that without the prodding of a couple of blog friends and if I hadn't just fixed myself up to go out, this would not be happening!

This reminds me, I really need new wallpaper in my bathroom..lol.

Now I am outta here. :)

A Dear Friend

Ecclesiastes 4:10 (New International Version)
If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Today I get to go hang out for a while with a dear friend, Robin, who I haven't seen in way too long. For years I worked as her assistant and we talked almost every day. We got to be really close after her husband died in a skiing accident in 2002. I helped her through the grief of losing her husband (as best a friend can) and she helped me through one of my difficult times as well. We called it free therapy (gotta love that!). Since she moved 45 minutes away (as opposed to literally around the corner), it's been more difficult to find the time to get together. I've missed my friend and am really excited to get to spend time with her today!

Changing the subject, I did get my hair cut yesterday, but I'm not sure I like the way my stylist does highlighting. I have been with her for quite a few years, but I may have to leave her. Oh, the angst of finding a new stylist!

I'll probably post a pic of my hair later on anyway. I just have to play with it and see how I want to style it. I may ask Robin for her opinion.

Oh well, I need to go shower and fix my hair so I can get ready to leave. Have a wonderful day my bloggy buddies!

Sense of Accomplishment...And Being Grateful

It can be done. Just like Jenn suggested in response to my last post, you can work on this...

And this...(and no, that is not me...but you get the idea)

...and you can do those at the same time. Well maybe not exactly the same time, but I did manage to do about 5 loads of laundry in between laying out in the sun and getting my exercise swimming...well I did swim 6 lengths of the pool and it's a big pool, so there. Best thing is that now I feel like I have actually accomplished something. I did get a teensy bit of a sunburn, but that'll go away in a day or two. :)

So while I was in between loads of laundry floating and relaxing in the pool..very nice and quiet, no kids fighting (they were at band camp), it got me to thinking about how very blessed I am; how God has provided for my needs and a lot of my wants as well. I am so thankful to have a pool that is in working order (as opposed to my pool a few weeks ago) and I am also thankful to have a working washer and dryer. I can't imagine having to do laundry the way people did it before those lovely appliances, especially with the summer temperatures. And that reminds me to be VERY thankful for air conditioning!

All in all, it was a very nice day.

Working On My List

I posted a to do list the other day and there are so many things I could've added to that list. And for some reason, when I have a big list of things to be done and a short amount of time to get them done, I stop and do pretty much nothing. Aghhh. I did get an appointment to see my hairdresser tomorrow (yeah!) and hopefully my new hair will help motivate me to get moving and get more done. I don't really understand how new hair does that for me, but it usually does.

So the question of the day is...should I go work on my tan since the sun has come out after a cloudy couple of days? Or should I tackle Mt. Laundry? Maybe I'll try to do both? Not sure how that would work out, but I'm always up for a challenge when it comes to seeing if something can be done...lol.

Totally changing the subject...Wow! Earlier today I read a post over at Casa de Castro that gave me chills. It also made me think of the song in this video for some reason. This is one that can get a congregation movin' on a Sunday morning. I love how you can find just about anything on the internet. God is good, All the time!

An Award For Me?

I want to thank Joan for giving me the Arte y Pico blog award. I get all nervous when I get a compliment, so I have no clue what to say. Joan's blog More God = Less Me is a great place for encouragement and laughs too. Check her out and thank you Joan.

Now it's my turn to give this award to 5 inspiring bloggers who I think are the greatest out there. I read every time they post something.

1. HisGirl's blog is amazing!
2. I love Sing4Joy's musical influence.
3. Casa de Castro is funny and inspiring.
4. Lila's Journey is one of my new favorites.
5. Last, but certainly not least, Gretchen's Blog always has something great to offer.

Congratulations to my bloggy friends. Check them out for great reading.

The rules for this award are:

• You must pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award, based upon creativity, design, interesting material, and that also contribute to the blogger community.

• Each award must have the name of the author with a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

• Award-winners must show the award and put the name and link to the blog that awarded it.

• Award-winners and the one who has given the prize must show the link to the Arte y Pico blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

• These rules must be included in your post.

Countdown Begins

It's time to count down the days till I go back to work and make a list of things I would like to accomplish before then. 6 days and counting. Things I would like to accomplish:



1. Get my hair done. Seriously, my roots are about 3 inches long!



2. Make several dishes up to freeze portions to take to work.



3. Get all the laundry done. Prayers requested as this is not an easy task in my home.



4. Get the kids' school supply shopping done.



5. Go buy at least one pair of pants to go along with the other clothes that I ordered online.



6. Get my house in shape and get ready to enforce the chore chart with the kids.



7. Get a tan because as Beth Moore says, tan fat looks better than white fat and I'd rather go back to work looking like I did something this summer.

Take Out

Tonight I decided to pick up dinner from Popeye's. I don't go there often, so I had forgotten that pretty much every time I've been there, I've been amazed by how intelligent their employees are. For instance, take this brilliant exchange from one of the past times I've been there:

"Can I take your order?"
"Yes, I'd like a #5 meal with fries and a Dr. Pepper."
"You want a #5 meal?"
"Yes, with fries and a Dr. Pepper."
"What kind of side do you want with that?"
"Fries."
"And what kind of drink?"
"Dr. Pepper"....

This time when I ordered, there was a similar conversation over the drive thru speaker system where I again ordered a meal and had to repeat the side and drink orders. Then when I got up to the window, I asked what kind of sauces they had for the chicken strips I'd ordered. So the guy lists of the various options including "Mardi Gras Mustard". "What's that?", I asked. The guy says "Well I've never tried it, but seriously, it's not good". I laughed and asked him how he would know it's no good if he never tried it and he said "Well, it doesn't smell good".

Being a fan of some things that don't necessarily smell good, take parmesan cheese and cooking cabbage. So I decided to try "Mardi Gras Mustard" anyway. The guy at Popeye's looked at me like I was crazy as he handed it to me and I just had to smile. Personally I give the sauce, a sweet mustard mixed with horseradish, a big thumbs up.